


Dib Gets Probed

by transecstatic



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: 19 year old Dib, Birthing, Comedy, Dib Says Fuck, Dubious Consent, Eggs, Gir Cameo, Inflation, M/M, Mpreg, Past Tense, Slime, Stupidity, Teenage Dib, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, Tongue Stuff, Transformation, ZaDr, dubcon, goo, mating tropes, ovipositor, sort of??, zim tops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 05:29:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transecstatic/pseuds/transecstatic
Summary: Dib sneaks into Zim's house to spy on him and gets more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), ZaDr - Relationship
Comments: 10
Kudos: 206





	Dib Gets Probed

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I watched the show and I (sadly) haven't seen the new movie yet. Glad to see the fandom around and people having fun with it though. I'm sure I got some weird little things wrong and you can tell me all about it if you must. I called Zim's claws hands, idk. This is probably the stupidest silliest nonsense thing I've ever written but I had a ton of fun writing it. It doesn't get into it but this is kind of an older teen/college freshman AU, because I like to think they'd be just as stupid then lol! Thanks for the request, Anon, and I hope you enjoy!

Dib had thought Zim wasn't home. Gir was out in the front lawn, having such an in depth conversation with one of the defense gnomes that the robot had shushed Dib on his way in, causing the teen to roll his eyes and move on with his plans. He wanted to get some more pictures so he could finish the 3D model of Zim's home he was compiling. Somehow there were a few corners of kitchen and living room that he'd missed the first half dozen times he'd taken photos. The whole house had a faint sweet smell about it, almost like maple syrup. Dib would take a picture, then sniff the air a few times and look around, unable to figure out where it was coming from. 

He had his goggles on, crouched for maximum stealthiness, when he heard a low hiss and heavy wheezing from somewhere deeper in the house. He froze, a chill of fear running through him. There was a clatter of things falling, and a metallic scrape that made him crouch further down behind the sofa. 

"Zim...?" He called out after a moment, nervous and either too stupid or too curious to just leave. He pulled the googles off as if that would help him hear better. "He must be hiding something in there. Something...spooky." Dib narrowed his eyes in suspicion. There was an odd groaning noise and more scraping from the same direction. Dib crept closer, fingers hesitating as they hovered over a door knob and, not letting his fear get the better of him, he yanked it open suddenly. 

"Aha! I found your evil--" There was nothing but a stack of empty doughnut boxes and a soggy looking teddy bear. "Huh. Didn't know there was a closet here." He muttered to himself, lifting his camera to get a couple of shots. He sniffed the closet, wondering if the sweet smell was coming from inside. It did seem a little stronger, but it was hard to tell. He stepped inside to get better angle on the stuffed animal when the floor slid out from under him, sending him screaming down a tube into the bowels of the house. 

He landed in a tangle of limbs, one, two, and then the rest of the doughnut boxes plopping on top of him, followed by the heavy wet slap of the teddy bear and...whatever it was soaked in. Dib cringed, panting heavily from screaming the entire way down. The sweet smell was thick in the air now, almost stifling. 

"My...ribs..." He grunted, rolling onto his back to try to straighten himself back out amid a strange alien laboratory. 

"Oooo." Dib stuck his tongue out as he checked over his camera, snapping shot after shot as he got to his feet. As he turned he found the source of the strange noises. Zim was raised up on the metal insect-like legs that extend from his pack and, though it was a little harder to tell what without any nose or eyebrows, he looked like he was snarling. Dib snapped one more shot before Zim shifted and he screamed again, scrambling back over various equipment and furniture until he's backed against a counter. His hands searched for anything to defend himself with and he grabbed up what must have been some kind of torture device...or a spatula. 

"Don't come any closer! Or I'll... I'll do something!" Dib doubled down and shook the spatula menacingly, glaring. "You don't even want to know what I'll do."   
Zim cocked his head at the human, making what could only be described as a slurping noise, before laughing with his typical confidence.

"What do you think you can do, Dib-Human?" He hissed, though the sound seems less voluntary than usual, the sharp ends of his metallic legs clanking lightly as he approached Dib, two sharp tips poking hard enough to be painful into the teen's chest. 

"You've walked right into Zim's lab, maybe right where Zim wants you hmm? I could pickle you if I wanted! Is that what you want? To be a pickle!? Huh!? Huh!?" He jabbed Dib's chest a few times. 

"Oof-- Ow! Hey...!" Dib tried to scramble away. Seeing Zim without any part of his disguise had become less unnerving over time and, while Zim had done horrific things to him, Dib was too smug to be too afraid. He opened his mouth to ask Zim why he smelled Like That but he was cut off.

"No. Zim is busy with more important things. Now go, before you face...a pickling." Zim shook a balled fist at the human as he turned, clattering away. Dib sat up and blinked, watching Zim retreat.

"Wait...what? Is that it?" He was expecting an argument, an escalation, or at least more of a threat. Dib wouldn't admit it but in a way he felt kind of disappointed. 

"Well. Too bad! I'm not leaving! I'm going to take pictures of all your stuff and--" Zim had been oddly still, curled into himself where he was suspended by his pack, and it shut Dib up when he saw him suddenly shudder and groan. 

"What's...wrong with you?" Dib stepped closer, sounding more nosy than concerned. 

"There is nothing wrong with Zim!" The alien bared his teeth, but as Dib stepped closer he could see even in the dim light of the lab that he was not quite the right color. He looked bluish in places and he was sweating heavily. Well...maybe not sweating. A thick glob of the liquid dripped off of Zim and landed only a foot from him, hitting the floor with a heavy splat. 

"Gross. What do you have, some kind of alien flu? Alien herpes? It better not be contagious." Dib raised an arm as if to shield himself, but it's obvious he's more invested in hurling insults than keeping himself safe.

"Foolish human!" Zim motioned, whatever ailment it was not keeping him from his usual penchant for drama. "Zim is a fully matured Irken invader! Zim only prepares for the next phase of his ingenious plan. My eggs will be " 

"Eggs!?" Dib seems more genuinely shocked before he becomes defensive again. "Well you're not infesting humanity with your weird alien worm babies! Stay back!" Dib jumped back, wielding the spatula like a fencing foil.   
Zim laughed, then laughed some more. "Ha ha! Do not make me laugh, Dib-Human, as if your giant headed filthy human meat...limb thing..." Zim wriggled his gloved fingers in Dib's direction. "Would ever be a suitable host." Zim huffed, indignant. 

"Hey! My head's not that big..." Dib muttered and frowned, a hand reaching up to rub the side of his (massive) head. "And you're not putting eggs in it anyway!" 

Zim looked uncomfortable, even his Irken standard issue suit was feeling stifling against his skin and he pawed at it, giving Dib a glance. 

"No one would believe you anyway, would they? I could splice your DNA with a lawn flamingo and they'd blame you." The unusual hiss to his voice was becoming more prevalent, bigger gobs of goo dripping off of his face. 

"That's not... That's not how DNA works." Dib managed, half caught up in wanting to be right, half feeling a little bummed out at what Zim had said. He was right about that. No one seemed to believe him about anything. 

"Anyway, screw you! I am going to leave and you can do your...weird alien egg thing by yourself for all I care. No one would want your ugly egg babies anyway. Because you're ugly." Dib tried to think of a better insult to tack on but his head is as empty as it is gargantuan. 

Zim wasn't listening anyway, and Dib was offended by this for a split second before he saw the alien curl in on himself and wretch, shaky hands tugging at his uniform to open it. He takes a few steps back, but even his metal legs fail him, clamoring clumsily over the lab before he collapses. 

"Zim...?" Dib almost sounds genuinely concerned. "I guess I better stay after all. If this kills you someone's going to have to claim the body. I told you I was going to be there when they dissect you--" Dib trails off when he sees Zim, the metal legs retracted back into his pack and he's on his hands and knees, shuddering in a way that seems to Dib wholly unnatural 

"Dude... Are you sure this isn't going to kill you for real...?" As he speaks he takes a few hesitant steps forward, and then slips on a particularly large puddle of Zim-goo.   
"Ahh!" He calls out, knocking into the alien down completely, both of them falling together.

"Eww! Do not touch Zim!" Zim sneers and hisses, trying to push Dib away.

"Ew, me? Seriously? Oh God, it's all over me--!" Dib tried to stand up, but the goo took him down again before he could even get his feet under him, his glasses half covered in goo and knocked askew on his face. Zim was on his feet, trying tug off his gloves before Dib knocked into the backs of his knees, taking him down again as well. 

"Dib-Fool--!" The alien growled, half on top of the teen and frowning down at him. His red eyes scan over the sickly olive face below him, a drop of goo falling from his face onto Dib's and dripping down his cheek. He did need a warm place to put the eggs. 

"Ugh! Why does it... Why does it smell like that?" Dib's still breathless from struggling, but tries to push Zim away, grimacing at the slick sensation that's coated every exposed part of him. Zim steps back, tapping his chin and humming to himself. 

"Computer, analyze subject Dib for egg-warming compatibility." Zim said, not subtly at all. Dib had finally made it to his feet, peeling off his goo-soaked jacket and trying to shake the strange dizziness he was feeling. 

"Analyzing for Egg-Warming Compatibility. Analyzing..." The computer replied in an electronic buzz. 

"Egg...what? That's not even a Thing. That's not a...trait." He argued, half with Zim and half with the principal of the thing. It took him a moment before it sank in that he was the one being analyzed. "Wait--" 

"Of course it's a Thing! What do you inferior Humans do with your eggs? Leave them in a sand pit in the sun? Hah! How primitive!" Zim was trying to keep up appearances, but the shuddering was getting worse. 

"Humans don't lay eggs!" Dib yelled, momentarily distracted from the more pressing matter. "We have babies. They like...grow inside." He wiggled his fingers.

"That's disgusting." Zim sneered, popping off one boot and then the other. 

"You're disgusting!"

"You are wrong and stupid, as usual." Zim replied, lifting his chin in superiority. Dib growled and picked up a rubber pig from where it just happened to be laying on a counter beside him and threw it in Zim's direction. It squeaked as it bounced off.

"How dare you sully Zim with your disrespect!" Zim yelled and tackled him to the ground, the two of them each fighting to keep the other off and trying to get a good slap in, which resulted mostly in them slipping around on the goo more than was entirely necessary. Zim grinned in victory, gripping Dib's shirt collar as the panting teen lay under him, grimacing.

"You won't win this Zim. You'll never win!" Dib yelled.

"Oh, but I think I will."

"Analysis Complete. Subject Dib Egg-Warming Compatibility: 100%"

Dib's face twisted and he opened his mouth to complain again, but caught sight of Zim's expression. He was still looking blue-green and drippy, but his eyes looked darker too. 

"I have seen the Humans pressing their eating holes together--"

"It's a mouth, you know what the word is for mouth--"

"Silence!" Dib wrinkled his nose, the sickly sweet smell stronger than ever. He imagined that's why he's feeling dizzy, why he's having trouble thinking, why pushing Zim's small body off of him seems like an impossible task. 

"I want to do this ritual known as the 'kiss'." Zim stated, taking Dib's face in his hands.   
"Since you are compatible." 

"You want to--" Dib was struck speechless and he can feel color spreading into his cheeks, flushing the sickly olive of his face and ears with pink. "I don't-- I mean I'm not sure-- We--" He stammers as Zim leans down. It's rare that he'd seen Zim so close, that they'd been so close. His heart beat faster, eyes slipping closed as Zim leaned in.   
When their mouths pressed together the sensation was strange, slick from the goo still seeping out of Zim's skin and cool, but not wholly unpleasant. 

Dib's pulse is loud in his ears, butterflies in his stomach, and then suddenly he's choking. Zim's tongue is cool and slick too, and thick, and impossibly long as it pushes down his throat. Dib tries to yell and struggle, limbs flailing, but Zim holds him in place. He can't breathe, but he can feel the tongue pulsing in his throat and a cool sensation spreading in his belly as something is pumped into him. The tongue is pulled away and he gasps, chokes, shaking violently as he tries more fervently to scramble back away from Zim. 

"Wha-- What WAS that? Did you-- Were those your eggs? God... Are they going to grow inside me and eat me from the inside out!?" Dib's hands work over his stomach. 

"Uh...no... Is that not part of a kiss? Do humans not have a pre-coital anesthetic?" Zim squints at Dib with one eye, letting him pull away, and Dib balks. 

"NO. WE DON'T." He tries to get to his feet, but he's shaking all over and it's difficult to stand. 

"Humans are so weeeird." Zim winged, adjusting his tongue in his mouth and then working off the rest of his uniform, pausing to shudder a bit more violently. 

"Well, I'm leaving. I'm not going to...coital you. You better just... Just feel lucky I want to get home and upload these photos--" Dib bent down to pick up his camera only to find it covered in thick goo as well. "Ugh..." 

"No, Dib-Boy, it is you who should feel like the 'lucky' one..." The strange hissing tone permeated Zim's voice and Dib turned toward him in time to see his body erupt into a mass of roiling tentacles. Dib screamed, voice cracking as he fell over himself yet again. It was difficult to tell where the alien he'd known had gone in the pile of squirming tendrils and Dib gasped for breath, walleyed as he searched for escape and the Thing pressed closer. The Thing over took him easily, tentacles moving over him, pressing over his skin and the clothes he was still wearing. They were slimy and slick and cool, but oddly soothing. Dib struggled, grunting and throwing his limbs around, but it took only half a moment before the vague dizziness from before bled into a serene calm and he relaxed under the creature. 

"God... Why does it feel good?" He muttered, barely audible, his body relaxing in spite of himself. The tentacles twisted until two red eyes were visible among them, peering down at him. 

"Stupid Dib-Human, it's supposed to feel good. Human mating must be truly horrible." Dib was having trouble thinking, much less talking. It was all he could do to breathe and hear Zim over the heartbeat in his ears. A few of the tendrils shifted and pushed under his shirt, against his chest, and the contact made him tip his head back and groan. 

"See? Zim is right. You are the 'lucky'." There was a hissing laugh from Zim before he fell quiet, slick, dexterous tentacles working Dibs clothes off of him, exploring his body, slipping inside. Dib was a panting, incoherent mess, squirming against the tentacles. He tried, once or twice, to push them away from here or there (he doesn't want so much goo in his nose, or ears) but for the most part he was enraptured, groaning as they pushed deeper into him, stretching and filling him, curling deep inside. 

"Hmmm... Not as much room as Zim had hoped." The alien hummed, turning Dib over in his many arms, pulling his hips up and then shoving two tentacles back in along side one another in one motion. Dib choked and groaned, struggling against the tentacles that wrap around his arms and legs and neck, overwhelmed by the sensation. The tentacles twisted around one another, pressing against his prostate, his hips jerked at the spark of pleasure. Zim twisted his tentacle-heavy form to better watch this reaction and repeated the motion. Dib cried out, body arching as his cock jumped and he came, pulsing and spilling his cum into the rest of the mess. 

"Oh God... Oh fuh... Fuck..." He mumbled between gasping for breath. 

"Disgusting." Zim goaded, and then laughed. His tentacles shifted, and Dib felt a change in sensation, but he was too exhausted and drunk with pleasure to care much. The added pressure as the eggs began to push into him was barely noticeable at first, just a pleasant firmness, a little pop of relief as they pressed past his entrance, and then a funny cool weight against his insides. As they continued, though, one after the other being pumped into him, the pressure grew, his belly feeling full and tight. 

The process slowed, each egg having to be carefully worked in among the rest, wriggling and pressing each gooey, soft little sphere into him. He could feel some of the first few being pushed deeper by the rest, and he groaned weakly. Somehow the fullness was just as good as the rest, and he wasn't worried. All he knew in the moment was that it felt good and he wanted more, so he willed himself to open wider, to allow for more inside him. His cock was hard again against the taunt swell of his belly. 

"Zim called you useless before, Dib-Human, but you're not. You're good for at least one thing." Zim hisses in a jeering tone when all of the eggs had been tucked nice and firmly into the teen beneath him. Dib was barely conscious, and it isn't long before he isn't even that. 

When he came too he couldn't move his arms, and it took him a lot of blinking and glancing around before he realized he was restrained onto some kind of device against a wall of the lab. 

"Oh God... What're you going to do to me?" His head lulled around, vision blurry without his glasses, lost somewhere along the way. His belly was still full and heavy and with each breath he took it rubbed against the head of his achingly hard cock. He cursed under his breath and searched the room for anything green, hoping Zim hadn't just left him. 

"I wonder if this means I'm going to be a mom." Dib wondered aloud, and Zim cackled at that as he appeared from around a corner, boots in hand and apparently already back to his normal self. 

"Stupid Dib-Human, if an Irken had a Mother Beast you would not be fit for the task. Fool... These eggs will be sent back to home world where they belong." 

"What-- You're not sending me anywhere!" Dib grunted and pulled uselessly against his restraints.

"What?" Zim glanced up at him from tugging his boots back into place. "Don't be ridiculous. Only the eggs are being sent back." He stepped up beside Dib, a platform raising under him to lift him up to the same level as the human boy. 

"The Dib-Boy wants another kiss before the birthing, yes?" Zim leaned in, giving Dib's belly a little pat, and when Dib opened his mouth to answer he shoved his tongue in and down his throat again. Dib yelled or moaned around the appendage, feeling it gush cool liquid into his stomach again. He coughs and swallows when the tongue is pulled away.

"You really don't know anything about romance, do you?" He grumbled bitterly.

"No... I don't think so. Sounds...stupid." Zim motioned with a hand and sneered, lowering himself back down to a console and working away at buttons and levers. Dib felt his belly shudder and his insides throb and he groaned, an egg shifting lower inside him, sliding down before he felt the sudden impulse to push. 

"Ohh... They're coming ouutt--!" He arched, pushing the first sphere fully out of himself, his well stretched entrance giving way easily. His cock head rubbed and leaked against his belly, he shuddered and moaned weakly. 

"Yes yes, just push all the eggs out like a good incubator tube." Zim replied, distracted and dismissive, a funnel rising up below Dib, the first of the many, many eggs rolling down it's side and disappearing down a tube as it's collected. 

The eggs shifted inside him and he arched his back again, pushing and opening himself to allow the round shapes to slide down and out of him, popping out of his hole. He groaned at the sensation, each sphere pressing thoroughly over his prostate as it passed, followed quickly by another. The pleasure is tortuous, his nipples hard in the cool air of the lab, and he feels exposed. 

"Fuck... Fuck!" He bucked his hips involuntarily, shuddering as it intensifies every other sensation. More of the eggs shifted in him at, all together, and he lets out a louder moan. He was close again. He could see Zim at the edge of his vision, only half watching him. He felt vaguely used and embarrassed but all he could think about was the maddening pressure of the eggs inside him and his need to come. He bucked his hips and pushed, eggs filing lower, bunching and twisting toward his entrance. It was enough to make him cry out, and he threw his head back, humping at the air again, feeling another few eggs push out of him. 

His cock head drug against the slowly shrinking swell of his belly again, a slow, lingering motion this time, and then his whole body jerked as he came again. His cock jumped with every spurt of cum, his insides twitching and throbbing and pulsing, only serving to flush egg after egg from deep inside him. He groaned, long and low, each round weight passing through him prolonging his orgasm. By the time the last egg had dropped from his aching, twitching, hole, Dib was nearly unconscious again.  
He didn't see what happened to the eggs after, only that his body was lowered onto the floor and Zim dropped the gooey pile of his clothes beside him. 

"Zim has many important things to do, Human Dib-Boy. Your UTTER ANNIHILATION will have to wait." Zim raised a fist to show his resolve, but as Dib tried to sit up he simply passed out again, collapsing limply against the floor. 

When Dib woke again he was in his bed at home as if nothing had happened. He felt over himself, only half remembering everything, but the only thing out of place he could find was the very obvious gape in his hole which hadn't had the chance to recover. He winced, sore as he tried to move from his bed and search for more evidence. 

"My camera--" The camera was where he usually kept it, at his desk beside his computer. He snatched it up, excited that it seemed to be clean after all, but as he opens it up to retrieve the disk a thick glob of goo drips out. 

"Noo!" Dib fell to his knees in defeat as he yelled.


End file.
